• Mark Heartford
    Mark Heartford

    Mark Heartford

    • United Kingdom
    • TV & Film Acting

    Mark Heartford replied 30th Mar '14:

    The Un - full field

    The love we miss due to our or others thoughts and fears.

    As I read the question about love. I recall all the past mistakes of errors of judgement I had in the love I could have had.

    We all have had that I suppose. From out school days of fancying the French teacher, my first crush, to the sixth form of trying to get a date.

    In the office of our first job of trying to pull a temp at the Christmas office drinks party.


    The love of loving someone who you cannot have because there married.

    Happily?!?! I don't know.

    What do you do with a love that lives in the mind and the heart which cannot be full field, like planting a field of flowers and nothing grows

    (that's why I used full field)

    I wait and hope that the sun will shine, the rain comes down and love will find a way to come my way.

    I wish, I wish , I wish

  • Kim Loe
    Kim Loe

    Kim Loe

    • Thailand
    • Playwright

    Kim Loe replied 30th Mar '14:

    A story which hopefully mentions love

    Somewhat relevant to the topic of love

    I'm probably not the right person to respond to this. I’m not sure I have ever been in love, only in lust and in wonder, though I will argue with myself that both are pieces of the same jigsaw, which we can call love. Rather than share one of my love stories I can share many of them in one story:

    Boy meets girl. Boy feels that familiar tingle of excitement and starts to imagine what could be. The seed has been planted. Boy spends far too much time thinking about girl.

    Boy takes the feint tracing of girl’s likeness and begins to create a collage of unique beauty, made from imperfections and other stolen images, all close enough not to shatter the illusion of true memory but with enough artistic license to ensure fascination and desire is well fed. Boy wants girl.

    Boy doesn’t change, though the world around him does.  Boy’s eyes still see clearly but colours adjust themselves while musicians change their stories. Through adventure, fear, experience and luck, on this occasion, boy gets girl.

    Still, without knowing much of girl’s experiences, desires, passions, or faults, boy feels a growing urge to close every space between their lips, bodies, thoughts, and perceptions. Boy defies many of those around him and rules with badly informed instincts.

    With every taste, tale, expression, and conquered experience, things become clearer, mysteries are solved, and the collage is changed outside of boy’s control. Boy begins to question where he is and what he wants.

    My lust and wonder have always thrived on the new, the unexpected, and the unpredictable, and ultimately fed on the distance between myself and another. At the same time lust and wonder cause me to fear, conquer, control, and remove those necessary spaces.

    A second Anis Nin quote which is relevant, “We are like sculptors, constantly carving out of others the image we long for, need, love or desire, often against reality, against their benefit, and always, in the end, a disappointment, because it does not fit them.”

    I’m not a skeptic and I don’t live in fear or disappointment with regards to love. Despite my negativity, nothing at all excites me more than the experiences which the word love promises.


Similar to Kim, I, too, have never been in love. Dealing with matters of the heart can get messy and gross. And yet, there's nothing quite like the first flushes of love (lust? infatuation?)...

Here's a quote from Neil Gaiman that pretty much sums up how I feel about the contentious "L" word:

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up a whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' or 'how very perceptive' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love. I hate love."

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